‘At Least’ Was Never Good Enough

There is a phrase that I have come to despise. That phrase is … ‘at least’. It is a phrase that is used to denote the lowest acceptable behaviour or approach. It is also used to denote that things could be worse. For example people use it when they are trying to comfort someone. A tragedy befalls you, people will remind you of your ‘at least’. So yes you were in a car accident but ‘at least’ you did not die.

There are three main reasons why this phrase really gets to me: 1. I get that we want to encourage looking at the bright side but I have come to believe that the use of this phrase suppresses honest expression. If I have been robbed or hijacked do not try comfort me by telling me ‘at least’ I am still alive. Do not make me feel bad for still feeling upset when ‘at least’ I was not killed. Yes I am alive , but dammit I am also enraged. Allow me my angry outburst.

2. ‘At least’ makes us accept things we should not be accepting, it lowers the standard for what is acceptable. It makes us compare our experiences to the lowest acceptable denominator and make us feel that certain behaviour is therefore acceptable because of ‘at least’. Your partner cheats on you but it’s not that bad because at least she tries to hide it from you. Or your husband cheats but at least he sleeps at home every night or at least he does not hit you or at least he provides etc. I was once reminded in the heat of one of my rants about the lack of child support that ‘at least’ he had not denied paternity and that ‘at least’ I had a job.

3. ‘At least’ kills ambition and encourages complacency. People don’t try that hard anymore because ‘at least’ has become acceptable. We celebrate our children so much for doing ‘at least’ that they no longer have to push themselves. They don’t do that well at school but its ok because ‘at least’ they tried. ‘At least’ is no longer a starting point but has become a target. People just want to reach their ‘at least’, and then they hold it up proudly like a trophy. You don’t progress at work but ‘at least’ you have a job.

When did we become a society that settles? When did it become acceptable to expect less? Why are we allowing ourselves a life of mediocrity? I am deeply disturbed by this culture of ‘at least’, it is making us a lazy people. We no longer challenge ourselves because ‘at least’ is rewarded. Then we wonder why people have become so complacent and so entitled !