Pride and Privilege

I have a woman who helps me around the house. She comes once a week to clean and do the laundry. I am quite happy with her work and we get along generally well. If I have to have a complaint, it’s that she likes rearranging things. It's not major things, it’s not like she is not moving furniture around. It is mainly cushions, some ornaments and some items in the kitchen. When she has been around small things will be changed to her liking. She has a particular style … BUT it’s not my style.

I have learnt to let her be though and when she leaves I simply change things back to my liking. When she comes back next and things are not the way she left them, she changes them back to her preference. We've been playing that game for over a year now.

At first it used to annoy me and I wanted to say something. I mean, it is my house after all and I should have a final say on where things go. Plus, she would not ask me, she would just reshuffle things. But for some reason I never got around to addressing it. I think the part of me that does not like confrontation held me back. Eventually I decided to just let it go and when she is gone I just put things back to my liking. Who wants to be arguing about cushions with the woman who does such a great job restoring order in my house!

I figured she is trying to put her own stamp to things. While I don’t agree with how she places things, I admire her taking the initiative. This means she is not seeing my home as just a job but as a place whose look and feel she also cares about.

It got me wondering what thinks and feels when she looks at my home. Does she compare it with her own home? Does she wish she had what I have and sees how she would set I up if it was her own? Does my home offer her an opportunity to engage in make-believe and help her dream bigger than her current reality?

So, I to let her play. I figured that, perhaps her ability to play house in my home is more significant to her than my irritation at not finding a utensil where I left it, is to me. We are two women ensuring the well being of the home for those in it. She has her part to play and I have mine. Sort of like a doll house which we share. Besides, she only comes once a week so she only has it for one day while I have it for the remaining six.

At least once a week I am reminded of how the life that I live may be someone else's desire. In fact, when I stop and think about it I realise how I am living my own dream. When I look back to how I grew up I have moments of not believing how far I have come. I would never have thought this would be my life, it seemed too far-fetched for a girl with my background.

I also sometimes wonder … does she question why me and not her? I see how hard she works to take care of and feed her family. I see the pride she takes in the little that she has. I see the dreams that she has for her children. In a way she reminds me of my own mother when we were young. She is a hardworking, determined, honest woman who is trying her best for herself and her family. So was my mother and so am I. She is a woman, trying her best with the circumstances life has given her. So was my mother and am I. So, perhaps she does sometimes wonder, why me here and her there?

When I look at my life through her eyes I see the plenty privileges that I have. The truth is that life can be unfair... and so can favour. Life and chance have landed me here and her there. Through no fault of either of us. I can’t claim to have done anything special to end up where I am. And I can’t hold where she finds herself against her also. It's a lesson I have to keep on reminding myself. It is so easy to get comfortable with privilege and assume one deserves it.

So, I will allow the swapping of the cushions and the rearranged kitchen utensils. Because at least once a week she can play. And at least once a week I am reminded of how blessed my family and I are to have this home. I am also reminded of how privileged I am to be able to afford someone else to take care of it for us.