The Barbie Room Experience…continued

Have you ever wondered what it must really feel like to be God? The thing about being a parent is that I sometimes think one gets glimpses of exactly that. So as much as I could relate to the little girl’s heart-breaking cry for a Barbie themed room I could also relate to the mom’s heartbreak at not being able to give her child that which the child so dearly wanted. As a parent, who has had to disappoint my own child too many times, I know the agony of seeing pain in your child’s eyes, knowing that there is nothing I can do. I have come to the understanding that in many cases I am just like the four year old when it comes to understanding God. In many cases I struggle with why I do not have that which I desire when I have been told that all I have to do is just ask. And just like the four year old I probably throw a number of tantrums when I don’t get the response I want. And at times I cry myself to sleep with a broken heart because I do not understand why my heavenly Father appears to not care about my pain. And like the four year old I have many times allowed myself to be eventually consoled by the very same God because, in spite of everything, He is still my Father. One of the things the child said, in an attempt to hurt her mom back, was that they are not friends anymore. In that petulant toddler way she unfriended her mother. There are many ways that we unfriend God as well. There are people who are so angry with God that they start actively showing their resentment. Just like the four year old they tell God that they don’t want to play with Him as He is not a friend anymore. They may even try and get other kids in the playground to also stop playing with God, in an attempt to punish and isolate Him. Some outright reject Him and live a life that shows it or even vocalise their disappointment with Him by questioning His existence. Many of us though are not so expressive. We may play the silent tortured victim. We may subject ourselves to the parent (God) but we need not be nice about it. That’s when one develops a fake relationship with God, which only really leads to resentment. We may try to ‘do’ things hoping to gain some brownie points but every now and then resentment over the Barbie room shows its ugly head. At times you may even think you have gotten over it until you spot another little girl’s perfect room and the nagging feeling returns. What that experience did though was to make me wonder if God ever feels like a frustrated mother trying to explain to a four year old why she cannot not have her Barbie room while trying to console her as well. I wonder if God feels just as bad for not giving us what we want. Do our demands also leave Him feeling inadequate? How many times He has come close to tears because I just could not understand Him and what He was trying to explain to me. But I know for a fact that the Father who never sleeps nor slumber works tirelessly to meet our desires. Just like my single parent friend, He truly wants to give us our Barbie room desires and just like my friend it must break His heart to see the disappointment in our faces when we think He is failing us. And I think, just like my single parent friend, He may struggle to get our four year old mentalities to understand Him and His dilemma in delivering the Barbie room.