What Goes DOWN Must Come UP

Compliments of the new year to you all. I trust you have had a good start to the year and are energised to tackle 2019 and whatever it has in store for you. This is usually the time when many people make resolutions and promises to themselves on what they will do differently this coming year. I would like to take the time to reflect on 2018 and some of the lessons learnt and I think the best way to do so is to share with you an experience I had just before the end of the year.

In my quest for the ever elusive summer body I started jogging around October. It went really well, my level of commitment surprised even me. I would set up the alarm to wake up at odd hours of the morning just to hit the road before it got too busy or too hot. I must say I was quite pleased with myself, or rather l was pleased until I fell down … during peak hour traffic! Now those who know me know that I have a great fear of falling, so this was to me the worst case scenario. It was also quite humbling, there is no such thing as falling with dignity. However when I later reviewed the incident I realised that there were a few life lessons I could pick up from it and I would like to share some of those lessons with you.

1. Being active risks falling. I fell while running. I didn’t fall while sitting at home doing nothing, I fell while I was being active. So maybe instead of seeing falling as a sign of failing we should see it as a reflection of effort and look at not falling as a sign of not trying. It is only when we become active that yes we risk falling. But I think it’s better to start running and yes, risk falling, than to be safe from falling by being inactive. So I will continue to be more active.

2. Running is good for me, yet I fell. Doing something good will not necessarily protect one from pain. Doing something good may be exactly the thing that invites the fall. It may be that when you start to change your ways for the better you actually invite problems you did not have before. But that should that stop anyone from starting something good.

3. The rock was always there. The things that trip us don't fall from heaven, they were always there. They are the everyday common things that we see and walk past without paying much attention to. The decisions that we take, the thoughts and ideas we entertain in our minds, the people that we surround ourselves with etc. Trouble does not always come dressed as trouble. It can be so familiar that you will only realise when you are already in it that it was trouble. So we need to be more vigilant.

4. I needed to be more present. I should have focused more, looked where I was going more. Being present is a challenge for me in that my mind tends to wonder. Being present means focusing on each step instead of focusing on things that either haven’t happened or are in the past. And many of us live our lives that way, stressing over the future or lamenting (or reminiscing about) the past. We forget to stop and appreciate the moment.

5. No one helped me up The road was busy with cars and people rushing for work but NO ONE stopped to help me. Sadly this was the biggest lesson for me. People's lives don't stop or pause just because you are down. People have their own issues and will continue and even jump over you while you are down, to get to where they are going. They may empathise (‘shame sorry'), but still walk on past you. No one stopped to help me! I know I have this idealised notion of community and everyone looking out for everyone else but the hard truth is that no one owes me (or you) a hand up. When they do help it is because they have decided to, not because they are obliged to. I still need to wrap my head around this one though.

6. Falling will disable you for a while When I fell l hurt my right leg and both my palms and could not use them to lift me up. So l sat there for a while literally wondering how to get up. I needed a moment to catch my breath, analyse what had happened and assess the extent of the damage. Pain is part of life. There will be moments in life when you are so confused and hurt and do not even have the energy to get up. You will need to make the time for introspection and reflection, to assess your situation. At times life will force you to face the pain and have you so cornered that you will have no option but to sit in your situation and live through the pain. There are times when you need to switch off from everything else and be present in your pain. Many of us are walking around with pain that is decades old because we never made the time to sit down and focus on it. The only way through any painful situation is actually going THROUGH it, instead of trying to run away from it. The only way to move on from it is to deal with it. Our attitude towards pain needs to change.

7. You have to make the decision to get up. Just as much as running away from your pain and not dealing with it is unhealthy, so is wallowing in it and never getting up. Sitting there on the side of the road nursing my bruised leg and hands (and ego) FOREVER was not an option. l had to find a way to get up. In life you have to get to a point where you decide that enough is enough. Your life should never be defined by your fall but rather by the decision to get up and move on. Staying fallen should never be an option. Only you can make that decision though.

8. Use whatever is available to help you get up. I had to drag myself up using the other leg and the same bruised hands, to a power pole about a metre away, wrap my arms around the pole and lift myself up slowly. Yes I fell, but I did not die. I was still alive. You have to use the parts of you that are working or not so badly hurt to support the parts of you that are. Do whatever you can to help you to get up. If you look around the resources you need are within reach.

9. I did not start moving immediately Once I was up I had to adjust to being on my feet again and test how much pressure my leg could take. Being on my feet was a good start but immediately running on an injured leg could actually cause more harm.. When you do eventually get up, take your time and pace yourself. Do not pretend that the fall did not happen. Doing what you were doing effortlessly before may not come so easily after the fall. You may need to relearn some things. I also had to brush the dust and pebbles off me. I had to work on myself to restore me to as much of my initial self as I possibly could. I needed to leave the things that made me fall behind. So take the time and work on fixing and restoring yourself. When l got home l had to clean and disinfect the bruise. Take the time to heal your wound. Get the help you need, sometimes you can't do it by yourself. Don't rush the process and don't pretend you are not hurt.

10. Going forward is a choice. I had to decide whether to proceed or to go back home. l decided to proceed. Since l was going to use the same energy going back home l decided l might as well continue. Yes I did more walking than running but I was still moving forward instead of backwards. The walk/run was marked by a limp and the leg still had some blood on it. Anyone who looked could see that l had fallen. The evidence of your fall may be public, you may not always be able to hide it. But once you have decided to go forward hold your head up high and carry on anyway. You don’t owe anyone any explanations.

11. Finish what you have started Yes it took me longer because l was injured, but l finished. Don't let the falling and bruising stop you from finishing. Finishing while limping and bleeding will always be better than not finishing at all.

Now this was an experience of a physical fall but I know I also had some emotional and spiritual lows in 2018. Unfortunately I did not necessarily deal with them as swiftly and as decisively as I dealt with the physical fall. So the challenge to myself for the coming year is that I may apply these lessons in all spheres of my life and that I may treat any falls or lows with the same attitude and an intention of moving forward and finishing because you see, what goes DOWN must come UP.