Reflections and Revelations

Hello friends and compliments of the new year to you all. I trust that you had a good break, got to spend time with your loved ones and had a moment to reflect on the year we have left behind.

This time of the year is when many people become introspective, looking at the year that was. This usually triggers a need or pressure for some sort of goal or resolution for the year ahead. It is also common for those goals or resolutions to not live past the first quarter of the year, mainly because life tends to get in the way of even the best laid plans. So no, I am not going to ask you to come up with some resolutions nor am I going to make you feel guilty if you haven’t made any. What I would like to do is share an experience I had and some thoughts I have on what that incident taught me.

A few weeks ago my cell phone was hacked and my number was hijacked meaning someone was accessed my number and proceeded to people for money (pretending to be me). They locked me out and I had no clue what was going on. What I did notice was that my phone was ‘acting up’ but didn’t think much of it. When I eventually found out what was happening I was confused as I still had my phone with me. I also felt helpless as I was out of the country and out of easy access to my service provider. I eventually blocked my number, hindering both of us from using it. Unfortunately some of my people had already sent them money by then. Below are some of my thoughts and reflections on this this experience and what it taught me.

Firstly, I realised just how vulnerable we actually are. For a couple of hours these people were able to access my ‘life’ and do with it as they will. I had so many questions about how they were able to do that and worried about what else they were able to do, as me. What else did they have access to? What other information did they have about me and what could they do with it? I felt naked and exposed in ways I couldn’t even comprehend.

I have always been conscious of not losing my phone and believed that for as long as I had it on me then I was safe. But these people did not need my physical phone. So my next realisation was that the safety and security we need is no longer just physical. It is intangible. It’s in spaces we don’t know much about, in realms many of us cannot comprehend. We have no idea just how so out of our depth we actually are. We continue to increase physical security measures and have many contingency plans in place, but the irony is that we are even more exposed. We are under the illusion that we are in control, but I wonder if we ever were.

When I realised that there was only so much I could do I had to make a choice … I could continue stressing or I could let go. I decided to put things on hold, at least for the three days until I was able to go back home. I could only pray to God that the damage would be minimal and trust that He was still in control. To be able to let go and know that God is always in control is valuable. I could rest in that knowledge that I will survive even this one. So, my faith saved my sanity.

It is said that there is always a silver lining, on reflection I was able to find one even in this situation. Not having access to my phone meant not being able to communicate so easily with people, which at first looked like a curse but I soon realised it was also a blessing. There is a freedom that comes with not being so easily accessible. It reminded me of a life before cell phones. When there was no pressure of having to check for messages continuously or no expectations of a response as soon as a message goes through. For those three days I actually experienced some peace. I did not feel like I was missing out on something important and I knew that anything important enough would eventually get through to me. I plan on recreating that peace periodically from now on.

People’s reactions were also very touching. It’s so easy to sometimes feel alone in the world but the truth is we surrounded by people who see us and care. Many people found ways to reach out to me to see if I’m okay. There are those who responded by sending money, without a moment’s hesitation. While I regret that they fell for the trick, a part of me was really touched. They reassured me that I have people who will jump in head first, JUST FOR ME, before asking. I have people who are so deeply invested in my well-being that they will make the sacrifice even when it doesn’t make sense. I don’t take it lightly and I am challenged to show up even better for people in my life as well.

And then there are those who saw the message and ‘knew’ immediately that it was not from me. They were adamant that it did not ‘sound like me’. This also touched me in that I felt so known. I am surrounded by people who know what I ‘sound like’ so much that they can say for a fact when something does not ‘sound like me’. I have people who SEE and KNOW ME. I may have taken that for granted before but I now appreciate the knowledge that I was never alone. And I have been challenged to get to know the people in my life a lot more so that I can say for a fact also when something does not ‘sound like them’.

When I eventually came back home and sorted things out with my service provider we realised that whilst I could continue using the same number there would be limitations. If I wanted full access to all the applications I had been used to I would have to get a new number. This would mean letting go of the number I had had for almost two decades. That was hard. It made me realise how attached I actually was to it.

Where I am now is that I am operating with two numbers, my old compromised one and a new one that does not feel like mine as yet. This has challenged me to look at my attachment to things and how unhealthy it can actually be. This coming year I am going to work on freeing myself from unhealthy attachments and learn to let go when things no longer serve me.

So whilst this was not a pleasant experience, it has left me with some valuable lessons to take with into the new year. My wish for you this coming year is that you may have many moments of reflections and revelations leading to a year filled with much joy and contentment.

May you never miss a lesson and may you always see the silver lining.