Finding My Voice

I would like to share with you my journey to singing and the lessons I learnt along the way. I really enjoy music. There is something about a song that can transport me to another place. Neuroscience says that music speaks to us at our most elementary level. It bypasses the logical and goes straight to the feeling and experiencing part of the brain. You do not need to understand the language to appreciate a song. Which is why music is so universal. The song does not even have to have words for it to have meaning. The experience can still be highly emotional and spiritual.

I also really enjoy singing. The best experience for me is when I can sing along to a song that I truly enjoy. It elevates my experience of the song. I make it mine. And there are songs for any occasion. You are happy, there is a song. You are sad, there is a song. You are bored/anxious/scared etc. there is a song.

For as long as I can remember I have always gravitated towards anything performance related. Since primary school I always volunteered for plays and music. I do not remember a time when I was not involved. At school we would have end of the year concerts and that inevitably included singing. Now, the schools I went to did not have music as a subject so we did not learn about singing, we just sang. Everyone sang. Our school principal would play the piano and we would follow her lead. We would all belt out the song, with abandon, and if you knew the words and could at least follow the rhythm, there was no such thing as singing it wrong. What Mrs Smit appreciated was passion and willingness. And boy was I willing.

In my early teens we joined a church where everything seemed to centre around music. Which was just perfect for me. However, I soon realised that just belting out a song was frowned upon. Music was taken so seriously there that it seemed everyone was a professional musician. The whole congregation could sing! People could even read notes. Before then I had never even realised that there was such a thing as writing musical notes. People sang in parts, again this was a novelty to me as at my school you sang whatever came out and we all more or less sounded the same.

I tried to join the choir but because I could not read the notes (and could not find someone to teach me) I soon dropped out. I had to console myself with congregational singing. Occasionally we would be asked to sing acapella in front of the congregation as small groups. I loved those moments. Even though our off-key singing was tolerated because we were kids, somehow, subtly, we would get the message about who the real musicians among us were. Passion always won though in that I did not let those perceptions deter me. I would just continue belting my way through, with great joy. You see, my advantage was that I was always willing.

But as I got older I became a little bit self-conscious about my singing, after a while the messages do get through. Deep down I knew that the belting out I had learnt at primary school was not always appropriate. The desire never went away though.

Fast forward to my adulthood and I still love singing in a way I just can’t explain. Whenever I have moved, I have made sure to find a church group or choir to join. Those are better because you can copy other voices of the people around you, mimic them and be part of a crowd. I have a stubborn streak on things I am passionate about and hate being told I can’t do something. I also have a passion for learning. So, about 10 years ago I decided to take singing lessons. This was the best thing I could have done for myself. I learnt such valuable lessons about singing and this is where I discovered my voice.

Some of the key lessons I took from those sessions were:

1. Acceptance – I had to accept that I am not a soprano and that’s its perfectly fine. The beauty of music is in the variety of voices and how they harmonise. (We can’t all be the pretty girls in the front row.)

2. Embracing – once I had accepted what I was not I fell in love with my lower singing register. For some reason my natural singing voice is deeper and I am more comfortable in the contralto/tenor range.

3. Getting informed – I got to appreciate the voice as a tool. I now understand the anatomy of singing and that breathing is the magic bullet. (I also know how to not hurt my throat anymore.)

4. Owning my voice as legitimate. Basically when singing I sound more male than female! And you know what, it’s a necessary sound. The advantage is that not many women can carry those sounds, so it’s never crowded there by my section.

5. Understanding my uniqueness. That was the first lesson my instructor taught me. To stop trying to sound like whoever I thought was a great singer and find my own sound. And I believe I have.

I think the biggest lesson though has been about perseverance.

My wish for you is that you may find your own voice, in whatever it is that you are passionate about. If there is something that brings you joy, do not let go. Pursue it, treasure it, nurture it and be very intentional about it. Do not allow yourself to be discouraged. It need not make sense to anyone else but you. Keep working at it. Never apologise for going after that which brings joy.

P.S. one day I might just tell you about my love for dancing!