Reasonably Speaking

Question: does everything really happen for a reason?

This is a phrase usually used when things are inexplicable or are beyond comprehension. ‘Everything happens for a reason’ is a great way to console self or others. But does everything really happen for a reason? Think about it … EVERYTHING! REALLY? Before you answer let’s look into what we actually mean by that phrase. Technically ‘everything happens for a reason’ means all three elements are always there … there is the thing that happens and there is the reason for the thing happening. ALL THE TIME! Otherwise the phrase is not correct. If I am being honest I will admit that it is the ‘reason’ part that I struggle with. I am comfortable with things happening or even saying that everything happens, but is it always for a reason?

So what do we mean by ‘for a reason’?

1. Do we mean a purpose – reason, meaning it was inevitable that this thing happens to fulfill a preordained pre-existing purpose? Which means this thing had no choice but to happen, it was meant to happen. This is WHY the thing happened.

2. Or do we mean a causal – reason, meaning because of the sequence of events prior to this thing happening it was likely to happen. Which means there is a chance it could have NOT happened. This is HOW this thing happened.

My suspicion is that we are usually referring to the purpose-reason, not the causal-reason. Things happen yes, but is it always for a purpose reason? If I trip and fall, can we really claim a purpose reason (it was preordained) or is there merely a causal reason (I was not looking)? Let’s look at a more serious example; a two week old baby gets raped by an uncle. When we comfort the family by saying ‘everything happens for a reason’ are we saying it was meant to happen, it was inevitable i.e. purpose reason or are we saying it was likely to happen based on the uncle’s behaviour i.e. causal reason? You see causal reason says that something could have been stopped if we had paid attention to the events leading up to it. Purpose reason, means there is a higher power with an agenda ensuring that it happens, there is no choice but for this thing to happen. Most people attribute these happenings to God. So ultimately when people say ‘everything happens for a reason’ they mean it was God’s doing.

My discomfort with this line of thinking is that it takes away human agency. In which case then the uncle who rapes a two week old baby should not be held accountable for his actions, right? God made him do it, it HAD to happen, and there is a purpose reason for it. By extension then no one should be held responsible for anything that they do if ‘everything happens for a purpose reason’. However if we say, based on the events or behaviours leading up to the event we can see how this thing happened, we are saying it was not inevitable but is a result of chosen behaviours. Then we can hold the uncle accountable for his choices and decisions because he could have chosen to act differently at any stage but he did not. In which case he is the reason (cause) it happened; it did not happen for a reason (purpose).

‘Everything happens for a reason’ tends to make us victims. We blame God for the impact of other people’s decisions on our lives instead of blaming the people fully. Now am I saying God is not involved in the happenings in our lives? No, that is not what I am saying. I am saying I believe God’s involvement in the happenings in our lives is balanced with our human agency, the freedom of choice we have. Should God really get blamed for not interfering with our freedom of choice?

We also tend to ascribe ‘everything happens for a reason’ to a lesson one needs to learn. Again this is flawed. In most cases lessons are a by-product of the experience, not the purpose. Yes, don’t let any experience go to waste, learn from it, but that doesn’t mean the experience was purposed to happen in order for you to learn the lesson. Lastly I think the reason why we hold on to ‘everything happens for a reason’ is because we do not want to accept that we live in a fallen world where bad things happen and life is not fair and humans can exercise their agency against you, even the ones you trust the most. There is this naivety, especially amongst us Christians, of wanting to make this world an ideal utopia where everything is perfect and everyone behaves perfectly towards each other and we all live happily ever after. I don’t even know where we get that from because the bible is clear that in this life there will be pain. What God has promised is that if we allow Him to He will take the things which were meant to harm us and work them out for our good. Yes sometimes that means stopping the events but sometimes it means letting them play out but giving us the strength to go through them, a lesson to get from them or even a reward for enduring them.

So what am I saying? I am saying yes thing happens and in my Flawed Wisdom I can even accept that everything happens for a causal reason but I am not convinced that EVERYTHING happens for a purpose reason.