Death by Too Many Choices

Growing up my mom always used to say that the reason it took so long to get dressed in the mornings was because one had too many clothes to choose from. She would say if I only had one or two dresses the choice would virtually be made for me. I did not understand it then but I get it now. We tend to think that having plenty will make choosing easier. Quite the contrary, I have come to realise that too many choices make choosing difficult. One would think the opposite is true but many will agree that too many options can paralyse decision making.

You may not believe it but this is a big challenge for many adults. You see, as children most of the choices were made for us. We may not have always liked them but we were also not accountable for them. Now as adults we have to account for everything. This can give each decision a life or death weight.

One of the reasons choosing has become so difficult is because we fear that we are missing out on something else. We doubt our choices as soon as we have made them and wonder if we are not missing out on something better. We end up wondering why we have to choose, why we can’t rather have it all. I think the bigger reason we struggle with choosing is that our choices say something about us. Choices reflect the chooser. They communicate to those around you about you. And this is the crux of the challenge. We are careful in what we choose because we know we will bear the consequences of the choice.

But do all choices have to be given such serious consideration? We judge people for their choices and no longer appreciate the process of choosing. There is too much pressure in making the right choice. Each choice has become a final choice, so each choice needs to be perfect. This has taken the fun out of options. We are adults who cannot fail publically and so we don’t try. We no longer reward effort and honest attempts. We seem to have lost the culture of trial and error.

We are also raising children who do not want to try, unless they know that they will be faultless. They will only venture into something when they know they will be perfect in it. Even if they rehearse or prepare, that has to be done in private, as people cannot see the preparation process, they must only see the perfection, which must appear to be natural.

I long for the days where options were considered with a sense of wonder and adventure.